Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
