I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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