I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So vagazzling was a success
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
