Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
