Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
