Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
