I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
