so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
