I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
