the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
