the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize