Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize