I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
