dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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