playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
