she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
