You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
