my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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