i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
