My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize