i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ok first of all what the fuck
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize