you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
