what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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