worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How external is "for external use only"?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
