clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
