Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
