did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
