She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize