if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
