My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
