I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
