my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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