you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
