i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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