Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
