Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
