my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize