hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i believe in u and ur pee
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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