you have to choose: penises or morals?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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