She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
