they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
