It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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