No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
