i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
