Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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