My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
