babies were throwing up all over the place
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
