take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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