the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
