How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize