god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Boobs are out for the taking
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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