We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
