that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
this just has baby written all over it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
