I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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