im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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