Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
