I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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