it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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