I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
