are you still at the devil's house?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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