My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
