Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
