i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Fuck appropriateness.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
