i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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