Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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