If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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