True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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