the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
