You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
